Ex Ex Gay: Going Back to LGBT Life

Montreea:
Hi, it’s Montreea! Welcome to my recording studio, and welcome to “God Delivered Me From Homosexuality, But I’ve Gone Back.” Check it. I don’t have a lot of time and I want to get right into it.

So, let me give you the scripture:  Matthew 26:41.

This is the first Bible that I was given, after I was delivered, by a minister in Houston named the late Mama Dee. I was out singing gospel as a gay woman (or man) – whatever you wanted to call me at the time. She gave me this Bible.

I love this Bible. God is so intentional because it fits my hands and you all know that I have issues with my hands. It’s so awesome. I can hold this Bible and I can read it and I can receive what God has for me.

Find yours! Get it! It might be in your grandma’s attic.  It’s got dust on it.

Even if you don’t like to read, the Holy Spirit will work with you and you’ll get to a point where if you need something, help me Holy Ghost, you will have the spiritual sense to go in this book!

Matthew 26:41, “Watch and pray that ye enter not into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

Bow your heads.

Father, God, Jesus, I love you, I love you. And I know you asked me to do this and I was like, “Ugh,” but I want to do it, and I want to do it to the best of my ability for you. I asked that someone who’s watching receive this, Father God. Give me wisdom, give me instruction, take away my ego, Father God. Take away Montreea and bring out your daughter. I love you in the name of my Lord, the Christ. Amen.

Now look, it’s Pride month. So, I get it. We’re seeing all of these images. We’re seeing all of these places. We’re seeing all of these celebrities. We’re seeing all of these things that either we used to do, or some of you all are still doing now.

I get it. I love you. Baby, let me tell you something. One month – one night – is not worth your eternal soul. It’s not worth it. I have never backslid since leaving homosexuality. I can’t say that about other things.

This I can tell you.  I just wanted to share a little bit of wisdom to help you. When the scripture talks about watching and praying, I do believe that’s important, but I think what’s most important about people that backslide into homosexuality is you need to know – you can always come home. You can always come home.

We got this rascality going on in the church. We got some”treffas” in the church. Treffas! Trolls and heffas honey, in the church – that will run you away from God. You can always come home.

When you have this open dialogue with God that says,

“I love you. I know I’m wrong, but I still want to do it, but I still love you.”

He can work with that. Now when you get to the point where, “The Christians hate me, I’m never going back to church. God hates me, God hates the gay.” Then you don’t have a relationship with the God that I serve, because the God that I serve – help me, Holy Ghost – thank you, God – loves me and He loves you. You can always come home!

Secondly, understand that you have to wrap your mind around real love. I’m not talking about Pride month, ‘run up and down a street with a rainbow flag’ love. I’m talking about ‘real when no one else is there for you’ love.

How do you find this?

Through Him. Fellowship with the Holy Ghost. All of these things are important for you understanding the transformation of your mind, and understanding what love is. 

I’m not talking about short-term, “We’re going to have a union and get out here and adopt a child from Korea, talking about wife and wife.” No baby, I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about eternal life.

I was thinking about raising my wife’s kids. They were going to be mine, I was going to be the father, and the Holy Spirit was like,

“Babe, first of all, you can’t love her children because you don’t even know God’s real love. Because if you knew God’s real love, then you know that the way you’re living is foul, and the way you’re living isn’t nothing that you even need to be putting on nobody else. You need to be working that out with your…”

 See that’s real love, when the Holy Ghost convicts you that what you’re doing is wrong, but I’m going to give you some grace. I’m not going to condemn you. There’s no judgment.

Let me tell you something. Look here, announce to your gay friends tomorrow, “I’ve been delivered. Hallelu! Hallelu!” You’re going to find out what real love is.

When I said that I was going to follow Christ, all of this, “Money I love you. Money, I’m your number one fan.” Baby, I couldn’t tell you not where a single one of those people, barring the three or four that follow me on Instagram, I couldn’t tell you where the rest are.

Yeah, real love, right? Real love, because I found something in Christ – something happened to me.

Maybe it hasn’t happened to you yet. That don’t mean you stop loving me. That’s a big reason why people want to go back to the gay club.  In the gay club it’s, “They love me!”

Right here, this book documents the most amazing love ever. You’re talking about three Hebrew boys that were put in a fire, and it’s like a hundred degrees in Houston, 90% humidity. Baby, it’s hot!

Imagine being hotter at the hottest, in a fire, and the Lord comes and saves you because of your faith; that’s real love. Real love is not, “If you’re ex-gay, I hate you.” Real love is not, “We’re in a gay marriage and you’re thinking about leaving.” That’s not real love.

Real love is, “If you’re gay, I’m going to love you, and if you decide to leave, I’m going to love you.” And you’re going to get that – when you come home!

You’ve got to trust His plan for you. I meet people all the time, “I don’t know what I’m going to do. We’ve been together so long and we have a house.” Baby, you’re worried about a house – “and we have a dog.”

You’re worried about Rufus (the dog)? Rufus is going to keep you from meeting your father up in heaven? Baby, no ma’am, no sir. Trust His plan for you!

I’ve met so many ex-gay people who are lonely. Wow. Why? God has freed you, baby.  Honey, let me tell you something. I have me a Holy Ghost party wherever I go – at my church. I’m supposed to be singing Friday, I don’t even know these people, I’m going to have fun over there. I’m singing at a 99th birthday party in a few weeks, I’m having fun over there.

I already know I’m going to have fun. Why? There’s always going to be angels. There’s always going to be love. There’s always going to be support around me. I trust His plan. His plan is better than mine.

Sometimes, I don’t like His plan. Sometimes it’s like, “Ugh God! My plan was so much better. Why? Cause I was in a magazine.” The Lord’s plan is like, “Baby, you’re going to sit on the bench. You’re going to be singing for other artists that are bigger.”

No problem. Why? Because I trust His plan, and I know that His plan – coming home to Him, getting to know His real love – is making me who I am today. No, I am not perfect. No, I will never be perfect. But I’m free – from this.

I don’t care. You all can march out Oscar winners. All the stuff they’re going to put in the Gillette commercials, and a girl on there with the razor, talking about, she got a beard.  Baby!

Bondage! Bondage! It manifests itself from the inside out. You start doing things. You start thinking a certain way on the inside and it starts manifesting itself on the outside.

It’s not me, this has nothing to do with me. This! Real love! Help me, Holy Ghost. Baby I don’t have no ushers up in here. I’m about to shout it on out. I’ll talk to you soon, I love you.

“God delivered me from homosexuality. I went back. Well, I’m thinking about going back.”

No, you’re not, baby. You’re coming home today.