Day Three of a Seven Day Devotional for Ex-Gays

don't be scurred

  For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. - 2 Timothy 1:7


For many years of my life, I have toured the nation. As a child, I accompanied my father on gospel tours, and as an adult, I have traveled with Rock and Roll Hall of Famers, gay rappers, wheelchair singers – you name it. I toured gospel music for seven years and even toured gay churches for a year. Of course, now that I’m delivered, I no longer sing in gay churches, but I do have one story to share.

Upon finishing five days of singing at a gay conference, I arrived back home at a Houston airport and waited patiently to be picked up by a shuttle bus. When the shuttle arrived, the driver greeted me.

“Ma’am! Good to have you back in Houston! I had to call someone else to come and carry you into the shuttle. He’ll be here shortly,” he said.

I was a bit surprised because this was a healthy, strong man. I weighed less than a hundred pounds. Why on earth would he not be able to carry a small woman like me? Then he plainly stated, “I am afraid.”

For the next fifteen minutes, I sat there next to him and listened as he began to open up to me. He told me that he suffered from paralyzing fear – always afraid of what could happen. It made a lot of sense to me why he did not want to carry me on the bus. He was fearful that he would drop me, and something would go terribly wrong. This fear had completely overtaken this man’s life and capabilities. It was a textbook definition of fear – robbing the strength of strong people!

What is the point of fear? Simple. Satan uses fear to shut down your connection to Christ, thereby immobilizing you spiritually. Honestly, what is the point of worrying about what could go wrong? What if nothing goes wrong? What if everything goes wrong? You don’t have any control over anyone’s reaction to your testimony so don’t allow fear to silence you!

The hope that I have in my testimony is that someone will be saved or someone will consider leaving homosexuality or transsexuality to follow Christ. I can’t control the things written and said about me on social media or in pulpits or even by family and friends. Neither will I let what people say or what could go wrong stop me. These things will not weaken me. Neither should you allow them to weaken you! Stand on the promise and strength of God!

Do you know what I did when I was younger and so gay? When people made fun of me or made jokes about my ambiguity in gender, I was still a proud homosexual that wanted to be a man! I wasn’t going to allow anyone to stop me from living “my truth.” I proudly attended every gay pride, every gay event, and lived an openly gay life because no one would impede “my truth.” Now that I live His truth, I live boldly for Him.  You can too!

God will be your guide. He will be your muscle. He will be your comfort. Even when you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you have no reason to fear. God can and will replenish. Do not be afraid.